I got her a Nickelback box set.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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