I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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