She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
