I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
