wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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