i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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