When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
