I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
