worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
