So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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