just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
