Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
