I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
