There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
