that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
