I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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