my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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