Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
