i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
