I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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