i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
