so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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