they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
