I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
