I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
