how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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