You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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