We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize