New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Only a mothe r could love this liver
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
