This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
