I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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