1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
