Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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