he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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