Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't turn off my feet"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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