she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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