Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize