suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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