dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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