More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
