Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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