dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
