are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
