You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
