Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
