didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
