Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
