butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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