I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
