I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
