Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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