i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
