I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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