we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
