do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
