i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
is it fun? or sober?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize