If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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