I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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