Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
