And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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