Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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