You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
