toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
