I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
