Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
