Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize