If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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