Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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